Jon and Kate Plus 8 Times 2 to the Infinite Power

During our vacation in the Keys, Carrie and I routinely hit the sack around 7:30 (remember there is a time difference, so in our defense it felt like 6:30). However one night we got a little crazy and decided to watch some TV to let our fifth helping of Bob's Buns settle a bit before setting out to shake hands with Mr. Sandman.

Big mistake.

Because as it turned out, I got sick to my stomach anyway. But the icing wasn't to blame … it was all TLC's fault.

You see I was in charge of the remote and opted to watch an episode to "Little People, Big World" over Spanish infomercials and public-access fishing shows. And for a while, it was a good choice. Then the show ended and a new one began. One called "17 Kids and Counting." As the title would suggest, it's a show about a family with 17 kids (all their own) who are expecting yet another bundle of joy. The opening of the show started with the mother (who looked like she belonged on a compound in rural Texas) introducing the family as follows.

Her husband Jim Bob and her kids:

Joshua
Jana
John-David
Jill
Jessa
Jinger
Joseph
Josiah
Joy-Anna
Jeremiah
Jedidiah
Jason
James
Justin
Jackson
Johannah
and Jennifer

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit … again.

I'm putting my money on #18 being named LaQuisha.

As you might guess, these people were a tiny bit religious, not that there's anything wrong with that. It just all seemed a little hypocritical. Instead of worshiping the Golden Calf it seemed they were worshiping her Golden Uterus. Oh and don't forget that they don't let their kids watch TV yet it's OK to have their own TV show and take a check for doing it.

More than that, I was insulted as a tree-hugger. With the world already over populated, the last thing we need is a family with 18 kids—each with their own carbon footprint and apparent addictions to Aqua Net (not to mention the rock band touring bus and the five cars they need to haul their sect around town). Oh and did I mention that they're not stopping anytime soon? They're going to continue to have kids as long as they are blessed to do so. Now I'm about the most sqeemish person you'll ever meet, but given the opportunity, I'd tie her tubes myself.

The bright side? After watching one episode, Carrie and I can now return that book of 100,001 baby names!