Meet "Poops the Penguin"

For the first 13 months as parents, the worst health issues we've had to deal with consisted of some teeth cutting and a minor cold, however around 1:30 on Sunday morning we were so concerned about Park's well-being that I was frantically getting dressed to take him to the hospital while Carrie was downstairs calling the pediatrician at home (again, it was 1:30 in the morning).

The problem? You know the term "well-oiled machine?" Well, Park hasn't been one lately and let's just say every couple of days he desperately needs to release some hostages. Without getting too graphic, it all came to a head in the wee hours of Sunday morning. He'd been struggling to play the role of his very own Harriet Tubman all day, but it seemed his underground railroad had once again gone off the tracks. As the hours wore on and nothing we tried worked, it was becoming obvious he was getting more and more uncomfortable until he was finally completely inconsolable. He screamed. He thrashed around. He didn't want to be touched. It was heart-wrenching to watch. Neither of us knew what to do and were worried that things might only get worse. Luckily a while back I got a state health assessment at work and as a part of it they gave me the number for a free, 24-hour, on-call nurse so we started there. While we weren't able to get any definitive answers with that call, we did get the insight that yes, we should be concerned, and yes, we should call the doctor. So Carrie hung up and immediately called the pediatrician who felt we should take matters into our own hands (literally) and pick up a liquid glycerin suppository.

Not sure what would be open, Zoe and Luka (who were extremely concerned and probably a little annoyed by the disruption in their beauty sleep) hopped in the car with me and we all headed to Dillons. Thankfully, it was open and within minutes we were back home with our over-the-counter hostage negotiator. However, little did I know that my work was far from over, while I was gone I had been nominated to actually carry out the dirty work—not exactly something I had on my bucket list, but I took one for the team (well, actually Park did).

The thing worked within minutes and while we were celebrating with a ticker-tape parade through the house we noticed something funny about the suppository packaging. Apparently, it is now legally required that every product intended for a child's use to feature a cartoon spokes-character. And while we found it odd, we were so happy with the product's overall effectiveness we ceremoniously dubbed him "Poops the Penguin" and sing his praises with every waking breath.

However, while we love "Poops the Penguin" we hope to never have to call upon him again. In addition to his steady diet of prunes and whole grains, Park is now supplementing his diet with a little Miralax.